Fark.com represents the true diversity of humanity. Getting all the users to agree on something would be the equivalent of getting Sarah Palin to read a newspaper. Continue Reading »

The Internet represents the true diversity of humanity. Getting all the users to agree on something would be the equivalent of getting Sarah Palin to read a newspaper. The sheer number of users alone makes this task damn near impassible. It's the same as moving an ocean with a eye dropper (see my previous metaphor). Continue Reading »

Run for political office -- any office -- on a platform of "Be Excellent To Each Other." Submit a link to your candidate website or political ad, which should also include what you are running for so we know you're not just faking. Continue Reading »

Be born after 1979 and unseat a serving US Senator. Be a person who knows what the NES, and SNES are.

Be a person who isn't racist, old, afraid of gay people. Be a normal non-octogenarian. Continue Reading »

Get Angelina Jolie to sign your baby's clothes while your baby is in it. Post the picture for all to see. Continue Reading »

Get a video fo Johnny Knoxville to slapping your ass. Bonus points for an elaborate costume! Continue Reading »

Win the penis game by saying the word "penis" over a public address system and/or megaphone. Don't be a jerk just say it calmly, but clearly. Continue Reading »

Get onto CNN's Parker/Spitzer and make a comment about whores. Bonus points if you say "whore" like Danny Devito does on It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia (it rhymes with "sure" or "lure").

Example:
Spitzer: Politicians always say they want to cut the Federal bud Continue Reading »