FoxNews began today month long coverage blasting President Obama for his support of the USA PATRIOT ACT. The month long Special Alert, according to a press release, is designed to inform viewers that Obama is instituting the special powers of a dictator. Fox News will also be highlighting that the powers granted in the patriot act are that are far beyond what the Constitution's writers inte
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80’s Hair band Metallica, best known for suing Napster and being on Beavis’ shirt announced today that they will be sue American Idol winner Daughtry. Metallica’s drummer Lars Ulrich made the announcement outside of the office where he kicks puppies. “It’s obvious to anyone who listens to Daughtry that he sucks ass. Well I got news for him- sucking ass is Metallica’s sound. There is no w
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In a leaked memo, Bank of America CEO Brian Moynihan concludes the obvious answer to WikiLeaks' impending release of damaging emails is to foreclose on WikiLeaks' founder's Jullian Assange's home. Assange, an Australian citizen, owns a 2br apartment in England's dodgy district. Moynihan's anger is palpable in the memo as he rails against fellow executives for suggesting that foreclosing on
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Cartoon super villain and Skeletor’s revealed in a press conference early today that he felt humiliated by TSA excessive groping and also that he was made to disrobe prior to boarding a plane at Chicago’s Midway airport.”First Continental routes me through Houston and then I get felt up by some fat asshole whose’ never seen a walking skeleton before. WTF is that! Do you have any idea how har
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Witnesses report that rookie developer Dinesh Patel and his eXtreme programming partner Tim O'Malley were called into the deputy director of Databadse Optimization David Johnson's office Thursday night. "Everyone in the office knew that smug rookie was gonna get it" reports witness and fellow developer Vlad Gayinsky. As soon as the door slammed shut Johnson's gruff voice shook the walls of
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Jodie Sweetin, former cast member of TV's Full House was involved in a crash outside of her Malibu, CA home today. The actress, back from a night of drinking and dancing with professional drunk girl Ke$ha crashed her Bentley into Sweetin's Beverly Hills ranch. Police reports indicate the car was parked in the garage shortly before the crash. An inside source reported that Sweetin
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FunnyOrDie recently stole our content. Here's a link to a tweet we made and a link to a tweet they made three hours later. Honestly, it's not the Carlos Mencia style stealing of jokes that bothers us- it's that the thief has Carlos Mencia quality m
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