Pope Benedict XVI issued a papal order clarifying the Church's position on birth control and calling for all Catholics to avoid spaying and neutering their pets. The pontiff speaking from a top his his royal throne hinted at the move in his Sunday benediction reminding all worshipers "Christ teaches us that just as our own unborn are without sin, so are the unborn dogs, cats, and chinchillas. God's command that we be fruitful and multiply did not come with a limitation on legs. As you live your lives attempting to atone for Original Sin, we must ensure our faithful companions do not have sin forced on them through the use of birth control."
ASPCA spokesperson Bob Barker immediately condemned the Pope saying "the best thing that can be done for puppies who cannot be taken care is the prevention of their birth. By doing what the Church is asking we're essentially asking for a situation you see in so many third world countries- puppies having puppies. These dogs are like our children. Would you let your teenage daughter and son wonder around at night unsupervised? Of course not they'd come home pregnant! For children we have vasectomy, condoms, birth control pills, morning after pills, and abortions. For dogs and cats we have spaying and neutering.
Conservative commentator Eric Erickson, of redstate.com was one of the few defending the beleaguered pontiff. Erickson ,on Anderson Cooper 360 pointed out- "If Barney Bush, a Scottish Terrier, was capable of not having puppies by simply going through abstinence only training down at the PetSmart, I don't see why Rex the German Shepard, and Killer the PitBull can't be held to the same standards. It's 2011! Your poor family is not an excuse for making bad reproductive decisions- just look at our President for God Sakes.
Other groups condemning the Pope include the American Baha'i society. President Jane Mitchel speaking from the Chicago, IL North American head quarters of the Baha'i pointed out that not all dogs Christian- a fact well known by owners of Caviler King Charles Spaniels- which are all Baha'i.
These Cavalier King Charles Spaniels pups were spayed as soon as possible, a tradition of their responsible parents. They don't know who the Pope is but pray nightly to Abraham Lincoln that the Pope will someday get to have as many T-R-E-A-T-S as he wants.